If you have any questions about my talk below please let me know! I apologize in advance for any run on sentences, errors or typos, as I spoke this and might have added to or elaborated more on certain areas. Thanks for reading and letting me share! xo
When Bishop called to ask me to speak on healing a broken heart, I felt like he was asking me to solve a problem. To actually perform open heart surgery on someone. This task of speaking seemed very daunting and overwhelming for someone like me who seems young and maybe inexperienced.
But if you don’t believe Bishop is an inspired man by now, let me bare witness to you today. I needed this talk.
I tried to properly find a good analogy that could explain my thought process and the only thing that came to mind was the process an alcoholic goes through to overcome his addiction.
When an alcoholic goes through addiction recovery they are assigned a sponsor. The sponsor is always someone else who has gone through the steps and lived the recovery successfully but is also an addict. They are their partner, someone who can honestly help and say “Ive been there” “ I know how you feel” I KNOW how hard this is for you” It allows the addict to feel comforted that he’s not alone, his process can be beat and overcome with success if doing the right work.
I have an almost contentious personality, I say that jokingly but when I hear prophets or general authorities speak about trials a small part of me will snidely say “but you most defiantly have not gone through what I have” I am sadly cutting myself short from experiencing the blessings and wisdom from someone who is called of god to help me understand how I can heal my self from my burdens.
Every single one of us in this room has dealt with trials, we are all going through one right now, the size and the type though are all different.
I am living with a broken heart.
When I was 22 I got married in the St. George temple to a person I thought I was going to have my happily ever after with. After years of abuse, hurt and lots of tears I needed to end the marriage. I struggled mightily with the decision to do this. I had lost my faith in marriage, had doubts about the church, suffered from depression, lost all security and felt abandoned.
I fought with my savior. I asked for confirmation and assurance that I was making the right choice and received the answer over and over yet, still each time questioned its validity, was I heeding to my will or the saviors will?
I successfully, prayerfully and righteously ended that marriage. I got down on my knees some time after my divorce and said “well, I have done what you needed me to do, now I need you to do something for me, I need to find the right person to be with”
The next day I met Nick.
We got married in the San Diego Temple and started our happily ever after. I suffered two miscarriages before our first born Dax, then right after we were sent another boy who makes us question our sanity. We have struggled a lot. We have experienced a lot of hurt, in our marriage, a lot of pain, a lot of loss and a lot of heartache.
I tell you these seemingly very personal details of my life because connection is what helps us feel like we aren’t alone. Knowing that someone else has walked a similar path, or a harder path allows the reality of your situation to become bearable.
The prophets and other speakers who generally speak about the healing powers of the savior, are experienced men and women of those same feelings.
I hope that this talk doesn’t seem to sound too negative or a dark cloud is now rolling in over the chapel. I want to re focus the meaning my sharing.
Every trial and experience I have passed through has been necessary for my salvation.
Should the veil be lifted and our eyes see things as they really are, we would know that there is divine meaning, intention and purpose behind every experience of our life. Knowing this, we would look at trials and challenges differently. Knowing this, we would be filled with faith and with hope, knowing that we are not alone, and that difficult times, even personal tragedy, are part of a celestial syllabus, the curriculum of the Gods.
Its that simple, but the veil is not lifted. So how do we overcome?
Just like the alcoholics sponsor, we too have a sponsor. Who has felt our pain and experienced our losses.
Jesus Christ. He was sent here for YOU. Not just to heal the blind and teach some lessons. He was sent here on earth to atone for our mistakes so that we can rely on him in our darkest of times, be lifted in our lowest of thoughts and held when we can no longer stand.
When you get on our knees and say “ I can’t do this anymore” He can reply “ I know how that feels” – he begged for our father to relieve him, he knew he had to do it but didn’t want to when preparing for his sacrifice on the cross.
Sometimes we have to go through tragedy, experience life altering loss, heartache, disease, failures, loneliness, betrayal, and fear. And these things don’t happen because we were destined for them, we all have choices, so others choices affect us. But by understanding the eternal perspective we can overcome these and be healed.
An addict can’t be cured just by Not doing what he’s addicted to, he has to work for it. Go go to meetings, seek therapy, repent of his wrongdoings, change a lifestyle, careers and the people he surrounds himself with.
We need to seek counsel, therapy, attend the temple, do everything worldly we can can to heal ourselves in whichever matter we are broken, and continue though to put the savior first. He will direct our path, he will lessen the burden, he will comfort, he will heal, he will help and he will love you despite your knowledge of the scriptures, your ability to recite the articles of faith, he will still bless you if you haven’t attended church in a while, he will still heal you if you let him. The healing is not going to be instaneanous, some headaches never heal perfectly. Like a scratch you get from falling off your bike, you put on ointment to help it heal and secure it with a bandaid. No matter how many products you use, once that bandaid is pulled away the small scar is a constant reminder of your endeavor. We wear some scars proudly, the stories behind them can often be entertaining and powerful, but that doesn’t mitigate the pain of that wound. Just like our hearts, they can be healed, but there are many scars, some we are proud of, some we are wishing never happened and others that we are constantly applying the medicine to keep it from hurting.
There is the iconic picture of christ standing outside the door with no handle, he cannot open the door, but he’s waiting for you. As soon as you open it he will be there 100% he will wrap his loving arms around you. He will morn with you while you cry on that bathroom floor, he will lift you up when you feel like you can no longer continue, he will give you rest when you have labored all you can.
Don’t forget your sponsor, Jesus Christ. Our sweet and loving brother who died on the cross for us. He knows you, he loves you and has never left you. He will be as close to us as we will have him.
This life we are living on earth was meant for happiness, but how can we know true happiness without experiencing its counterpart.
Being happy does not always mean being without hardship. Sometimes it means just the opposite.
Elder David A. Bednar told the story in his general conference address “Bear Up Their Burdens with Ease.” A man became stranded in the mountains when his truck got stuck in the snow. It was only after he filled the truck bed with wood that he was able to escape.
“It was the load of wood that provided the traction necessary for him to get out of the snow, to get back on the road, and to move forward,” Elder Bednar explains.
When we face large or small challenges in life, we can take comfort in the truth that such experiences will build our strength and bring us closer to God.
“Sometimes we mistakenly may believe that happiness is the absence of a load. But bearing a load is a necessary and essential part of the plan of happiness,” Elder Bednar says.
I bare testimony that happy endings exist. The Disney saying “happily ever after” means to Spend the rest of one’s life in happiness. The key word is ONE. To spend the rest of my life in happiness. My life is my happy ever after. My life is not YOUR happily ever after. There are things that I wish never happened to me, or mistakes I never made, but my most spiritual experiences, moments in my life when I grew the most were during those times of turmoil. I have a strong testimony of that door the savior is waiting behind. Unfortunately we at times open it, and then close it. But I know he’s still there waiting. I need to do a better job at keeping it all the way open, to break the hinges so that it can never close. He loves us so much. I bare witness that I have overcome everything in my life because of my savior.